"As the Fall Breaks" was the first song written following the Crutch '...hope prevails' sessions, back in 2001.  The lyrics were written about two friends of mine who's lives ended tragically.  The song incorporates two different stories with one connecting theme - REGRET.  I wanted to express some of my grief and regret while also using the song as a platform from which to bring up the topic of interpersonal struggles and conflict resolution.

            The first half of the song is about a friend from when I was in high school.  He struggled with a host of emotional issues which was pretty obvious to most people.  However, because of his struggles, most people were afraid of him or ignored him completely.  When we were 16, he committed suicide, shooting himself in a shed outside his home.  He left a note that contained the lyrics to the U2 song "Numb".  I carry the regrets of wondering whether or not there was anything I could have done or said to help change his mind.  I also refused to go to the funeral, which is something else that I regret.

            The second half of the song is about my roommate for the first two years of college.  We had a falling out during the second half of our second year as roommates, I left school glad to get away from the situation.  We didn't really speak for almost a year or more, and after that we merely were passing acquaintances.  This broken relationship was mostly my fault, I refused to let go of what would later seem as only petty issues.  Where I should have been a loving brother, I was a judgmental jerk.  During the summer prior to our senior year, he fell from a tree when his tree-trimming harness broke, he was killed by the impact.  I never had a chance to say that I was sorry, to apologize for being such a fool.  The memorial service held by his family and friends was the most amazing experience that I think I've ever witnessed.  Forever my life changed that day, and I've been determined to never duplicate same mistakes again.

            So I wrote about these experiences to share these thoughts:  There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come.  There is no guarantee that we will get another chance to say "I'm sorry".  There might not be a tomorrow in which to work out your differences with someone.  If there is a problem between you and a brother, sister, parent, friend, anyone at all ...   work it out now while you still have the chance.  Though it may be difficult to face the issues now, the pain and anguish of always wondering "what if..." is far more difficult to bear.  We need to move beyond our self-absorbed petty differences and embrace our brethren with love and compassion.

            I chose this song to do a concept music video because I felt the story might translate well onto film.  I also wanted to create a memorial to my friends, while also making a music video that fit the song, the style of music, and could be experienced by everyone.  I took on the project as the writer, director, videographer, actor, band member, editor, etc..  With the help of the band and some other friends, I think the "As the Fall Breaks" video turned out pretty well, acomplishing most of the goals that I had.  The video appears on the ALETHEIAN Live DVD, I hope you enjoy.